I bloody hate YOU!

5 Star WIFI Rip-Off

admin — Wed, 16 May 2012 20:32:34 +0000

I just checked into the JW Marriot Hotel in Cannes where the film festivals are about to begin in a few days time. Lucky me, getting ready to log in on my laptop in my luxury suite I have been upgraded to. But hold on: “Please contact the receptionist to get a username and password” it says in the hotel manual. Looking forward to my complementary log in credentials to go with my luxury suite, I have already paid them handsomely for that pleasure, I’m being told that I have to pay 11 Euros per hour to get a measly 512k connection. Oh my god! What stingy narrow minded people have come up with this scheme.

On their web-site they say about themselves:” Our relentless focus on innovation and action fuel the way we do business. With the most powerful brand portfolio in the world, we set the bar for the hospitality industry.” No you don’t!

rating: 5 out of 5 stars

GoDaddy – GetLostDaddy!

admin — Thu, 29 Dec 2011 21:22:32 +0000

Lets all boycott the US hosting firm that supports the controversial Stop Online Piracy Act (SOPA). This act is a disguised attempt by the U.S. government to introduce internet censorship pretending to fight online trafficking in copyrighted intellectual property and counterfeit goods. The truth however is that this act infringes on First Amendment rights, will cripple the internet and threaten free speech. So sod you GoDaddy!

rating: 5 out of 5 stars

Boris Johnson

admin — Tue, 19 Jul 2011 11:05:30 +0000

This gibberish talking, rubbish mumbling, embarrassing haircut bearing toff is apparently the Major of London. How did he ever get a job – I don’t know. He wasn’t even born here. Send him back to the States before he causes any more damage!!! Now – can we have Ken back – please!!

rating: 8 out of 10 stars

Jon Bon Jovi – Whiner Extraordinaire

admin — Wed, 16 Mar 2011 15:22:08 +0000

John Francis Bongiovi, Jr. a.k.a. Jon Bon Jovi, disillusioned and desperate singer, songwriter from New Jersey, can’t stop the whining. In an interview with the Sunday Times Magazine, he said that he is holding Apple’s CEO Steve Jobs responsible for the terrible state of the music industry and the death of the music business. He goes and said: “God, it was a magical, magical time. I hate to sound like an old man now, but I am, and you mark my words, in a generation from now people are going to say: ‘What happened?’..”

I’m afraid he sounds so very much like a whinging, whining boring old fart who doesn’t get enough income from the royalties that his crap music produces, pretending that he cares for the interest of the music consuming public. He isn’t particularly Mr. current affairs either as MP3s have been around for almost 20 years now – not to mention Napster and other peer-to-peer file sharing services. The digital music revolution has happened – like it or not. Stop complaining you bloody looser!

rating: 5 out of 5 stars

MS NOKIA

admin — Thu, 03 Mar 2011 13:58:22 +0000

After years of producing boring, uninspiring and useless mobil phones and smart phones using an operating system (Symbian and Meegoo) that was sluggish/unuseable/crashing at best it was no surprise at all that Nokia lost its grip on the mobil phone market. But instead of learning from their mistakes the only solution they could think of is to go to bed with Microsoft?? Are they completely insane!?? I hope Microsoft will suck you up and spit you out!

rating: 4.5 out of 5 stars

Ryan Air – no thrill flights at a first class price

admin — Wed, 05 Aug 2009 01:06:00 +0000

Ryan Air Boss Michael O’Leary is a swindler of the highest calibre! He manages to rip us off left right and center, pretending it us for our own good;

1) They lie about the destination! For example Ryan Air offers flights to Vienna (capital of Austria), when in fact they fly to Bratislava which is the capital of Slovakia the last time I looked, and is about 50 miles off. They list goes on and on… It’s like you ordering a latte and getting a cappucino! Not quite the same I dare say! So why are they allowed to do that???

2) You are only allowed to take ONE item of hand luggage up to maximum of 15 kilograms in container of a certain size, which is almost nothing compared to what you are allowed to bring on board with other airlines. A laptop and a couple of grundies that is it! That one item per person is stricktly enforced. You even have to cram your airport shopping into your bag. That is really bad!

3) In case you want to bring more of your stuff you have to pay a hefty 30 pounds sterling just to bring another 20 kilograms of luggage! That is 1.5 pounds per kilo! Just imagine you fly with a group of five!!!

4) When you book your flight – Ryan Air charges you a 5 pound fee per person/per flight for using a credit or debit card!!!!! What a rip off!! And another 8 pounds per person if you want to get on to the aircraft 5 minutes earlier then those who haven’t paid that stupid VIP fee. And yet there is no numbered seating!

5) During the online booking process, Ryan Air makes it really difficult to uncheck the “I don’t need a travel insurance” option. So you are quite likely to pay for something you don’t need. There is no need for that either!

6) The last time flying with Ryan Air, I ordered some food from the “Hungry?” menu. And I’m sure that is going to be the last time I ever order food from them. It said “Hot Ham & Cheese Ciabatta” and the picture next to it looked very promising. But I just could not find any Ham and just traces of cheese in my Ciabatta. I paid 5.60 pound sterling for that!!!! Unbelievable! And don’t even get me started on the prices the charge for their ridiculous expensive drinks! Bring your own I’d say!

Mr O’Leary, you are a con-artist and you should be ashamed of yourself! You are ripping us off! Lets boycot that cheating irish charlatan!

Bollocks to yea and your con-airline!

rating: 6 out of 6 stars

Bob Crow, working class thug and Millwall FC supporter – holding a nation at ransom!

admin — Tue, 09 Jun 2009 13:25:08 +0000

RMT – the National Union of Rail, Maritime and Transport Workers – is taking industrial action! Bob Crow’s union intends to disrupt the travel plans of 3 million Londoners, commuters and visitors with a 48-hour tube strike, bringing the network to a complete standstill from tonight. England football fans hoping to watch the World Cup qualifier against Andorra could be shut out of Wembley because of the strike, which is nice! – Take it out on your customers! Bob Crow, the RMT general secretary, who sounds very much like David Brent from the Office, is a constant reminder of the bad old days from the 1970s when narcissistic union bigheads could incapacitate a nation and cause misery for millions.

This should not be allowed to happen. Why should a small amount of people be allowed to make life difficult for so many. People who have to get to work back and forth, people who want to see a football match or people who have just come to visit. This whole thing stinks and those workers taking part in this industrial action should be sacked on the spot – there is plenty of unemployed people out there, who do want to work in times like this! Where the hell are we? – this is not Italy! Bollocks to you, and your greedy punch of thugs!

rating: 7 out of 7 stars

Royal Mail Airsure is fast, save and reliable – yes – my arse

admin — Tue, 21 Apr 2009 21:16:55 +0000

I sent a letter to Germany on the 6th of April! It still hasn’t arrived! Nobody knows where it is! And I paid five pound 20 for this service!! It just says: “Your item, posted on 06/04/09 with reference LYxxxxxxxGB has been passed to the overseas postal service for delivery in GERMANY.” when I try to track it on their website; So where the bloody hell is it?? What happened to German efficiency? I lost my trust in the postal system! I hate you - you postoffice-workers!

rating: 5 out of 5 stars

Sir Fred Goodwin – Bank Robber

admin — Sun, 01 Mar 2009 16:01:46 +0000

For those who are not familier with Sir Fred Goodwin – he is the former boss of Royal Bank of Scotland, who is 50, and is now enjoying his £700,000 annual pension. Well he was the boss of a bank you would argue, and he deservse a little bit of pocket money in his retirement! But he is also the guy who is responsible for the biggest loss in UK corporate history. Which is pretty bad. RBS’s future now hangs on the Government’s insurance scheme for banks’ toxic assets. Instead of being punished, I would suggest taring and feathering, he now gets send off with nice big fat pension – he must be laughing himself stupid – and there is not a lot the government can do about; Well done Sir! Seems like in the banking world you do get rewarded for fucking-up.

rating: 5 out of 5 stars

Janice Turner – columnist and feature writer for The Times Newspaper

admin — Sat, 31 Jan 2009 13:47:36 +0000

In an article from January 31, 2009 this woman writes under the headline of quote:”Total stupidity makes British patience snap” – No – your stupidity makes us snap! For some reason I thought that The Times Newspaper is a quality newspaper and their articles are well written and cleverly researched unlike that of other tabloids. What happened? For example when Janice Turner writes: “Wake up, guys. Morality should enter economic decision-making…” – doesn’t she use her brain before using the the enter key on her keyboard?? Since when has morality ever been involved in economic decision-making! Neither does that woman find it strange that when quote: “In 2007, when Gordon Brown announced that he would be “drawing on the talents of all to create British jobs for British workers”, I was lambasted by friends and colleagues, even called a BNP stooge, for agreeing.” — that we are talking populist Nazi-propaganda here and there is a reason the BNP agrees!!!! Where does The Times source there columnists from I wonder? What happened to quality journalism??

rating: 5 out of 5 stars

Ponytails on middle-aged men! What a sight!

admin — Sun, 25 Jan 2009 15:31:24 +0000

According to the wikipedia definition, a ponytail is a style of arranging hair that gets its name from its resemblance to the undocked tail of a pony (small horse); Depending on fashions, it may also be worn toward one side of the head (over one ear), or on the very top of the head (a topknot, allowing the hair to fall down the back or one side of the head). Particularly nice when worn in combination of a mullet! Why is a ponytail called ponytail? Because if you lift it up – you most likely will find an arsehole underneath! That old saying is true unfortunately for all you ponytail-wearing losers out there; Also a good way of covering up the thinning of the hair at the back of your head! Still looking for a nice shot for demonstration purposes; But I guess you all know what I’m talking about!

rating: 4.5 out of 5 stars

Ugly – Uglier – Ugg

admin — Sun, 21 Dec 2008 15:50:28 +0000

They are just plain ugly! They turn your feet into un-shapely huge blobs! And they are made in Australia! Originally designed for farmers wanting to keep their feet warm. - Let’s keep it this way! BTW: Leonardo DiCaprio wears them! ahhh

rating: 4.5 out of 5 stars

Microsoft Internet Explorer 6 – Who are you gonna call!

admin — Sun, 14 Dec 2008 17:56:18 +0000

Somebody please – please pull the plug on this crappy, disgustingly disfunct Microsoft product, causing misery and frustration since 2001! How come this is still the most popular internet browser on the planet? What’s wrong with this world? Come on guys, this piece of shit – pardon my french – has been plaguing the world for long enough! From CSS and Javascript issues to incompatibility with pngs – this product was a failure right from the beginning – like with so many other Microsoft products they tried to establish their own standards and failed! Be advangerous, there are so many other products out there that do work – try something new! Just because it came pre-installed on your computer doesn’t mean that you are stuck with it until the rest of your days! And you don’t even have to upgrade to Internet Explorer 7 either!! Quite contrary! What about Google Chrome, Mozilla Firefox, Apple Safari or Opera! For God’s sake DON’T BE A PC, regardless what Bill Gates tells you to do!!

rating: 6 out of 6 stars

Bloody Spam

admin — Wed, 03 Dec 2008 20:12:42 +0000

This is an open letter to all those bloody looser spammers out there!! I hate you with all my guts! You disgust me! Although you bloody emails have the subject line “PLEASE I NEED YOUR URGENT REPLY.”, “Urgent Reply Needed.” or even more refined “From Mr.Isu Kafando(Urgent)” – there is abso-bloody-lutely nothing urgent about your emails. And NO – I’m not stupid, I don’t believe that your are going to transfer me a huge amount of dosh for nothing, neither do I believe that you are the bank manager of of the BOA Bank in Burkina faso, “the regional manager Bank of Africa I got your contact when i was searching for an overseas partner”, nor do I believe that you want me “to stand as the next of kin to my late Descease customer whose account is presently dormant”; Hey I just don’t think that it is such a good idea to send you my personal and bank details. And no I don’t want to send you a couple of thou to make it possible for you to get to the fortune of the late deceased – No offense – BUT DO ME ONE FAVOUR AND STOP EMAILING ME!!!! I’m not a schmuck! And believe you me – I don’t want your spammer comments here either – Bank Manager or not!

Hey – wait – we have a newcomer called Mr. Paul Lockett – he claims to be a senior partner in the firm of Infinity Consultants “Private Investigators and Security Consultants”. Sure with an email address of paullockett671@gmail.com I’m sure as hell believe him; Here the transcript of his email – looks like I am rich!

“This investigation involves a client who shares the same surname with you and also the circumstances surrounding investments made by this client at “HSBC”, the Private Banking arm of HSBC. The HSBC Private Banking client died in testate and nominated no successor in title over the investments made with the bank. I would respectfully request that you keep the contents of this mail private and respect the integrity of the information you come by as a result of this mail. I contact you independently of our investigation and no one is informed of this communication. I would like to intimate you with certain facts that I believe would be of interest to you. You share similar details to the late fellow; I am prepared to place you in a position to instruct the firm to release the deposit to you as the closest surviving relation. Upon receipt of the deposit, I am prepared to share the money with you, that is, I will simply nominate you as the next of kin and have them release the deposit to you. We share the proceeds 50/50. I would have gone ahead to ask the funds be released to me, but that would have drawn a straight line to me and my involvement in claiming the deposit. But on the other hand, you with the same very name as the depositor’s would easily pass as the beneficiary with right to claim. I assure you tthat I could have the deposit released to you within few days. I am aware of the consequences of this proposal. I ask that if you find no interest in this project that you should discard this mail. I ask that you do not be vindictive and destructive. If my offer is of no appeal to you, delete this message and forget I ever contacted you. Do not destroy my career because you do not approve of my proposal. You may not know this but people like myself who have made tidy sums out of comparable situations run the whole private banking sector. I am not a criminal and what I do, I do not find against good conscience, this may be hard for you to understand, but the dynamics of my industry dictates that I make this move. Such opportunities only come once in a lifetime. I cannot let this chance pass me by, for once, I have found myself in total control of my destiny. These chances won’t pass me by. I ask that you do not destroy my chance, if you will not work with me let me know and let me move on with my life but do not destroy me. I am a family man and this is an opportunity to provide them with new opportunities. There is a reward for this project and it is a task well worth undertaking. I have evaluated the risks and the only risk I have here is from you refusing to work with me. I am the only one who knows of this situation, good fortune has blessed you with a name that has planted you into the center of relevance in my life. Lets share the blessing. If you find yourself able to work with me, contact me through this same email account. If you give me positive signals, I will initiate this process towards a conclusion. I send you his mail not without a measure of fear as to what the consequences, but I know within me that nothing ventured is nothing gained and that success and riches never come easy or on a platter of gold. This is the one truth I have learned from my private banking clients. Do not betray my confidence. If we can be of one accord, we should plan a meeting, soon.

Kind regards,

Mr. Paul Lockett. ”

And here the latest one from the 8th of October 2009:

PRIVATE AND CONFIDENTIAL

ATTENTION: SIR/MADAM,

I do understand the concern this letter will bring to you for the fact that it comes from a total stranger, but be rest assured for it comes with good intentions. I got your contact through the London International Exchange Network On-line here in London,uk.

For purpose of introduction I am Mr Michael Brown, The Financial Adviser of Barclays Bank Plc. There is an account opened in this bank since 1990 and since 1995 nobody has operated on this account again. After going through some old files in the records, I discovered that if I don’t remit this money out urgently it would be forfeited for nothing.

The owner of this account is Mr. Smith .B. Andreas, a foreigner and a miner at Kruger Gold Co-operation, a geologist by profession and he died since 1994. No other person knows about this account or any thing concerning it, the account has no other beneficiary and my investigation proved to me as well that the company does not know anything about this account and the amount involved is USD$5,000.000 (Five Million United States Dollars).

I am only contacting you as a foreigner because this money cannot be approved to a local bank here, but can only be approved to any foreign account because the money is in United States Dollars and the former owner of the account Mr. Smith .B . Andreas is a foreigner too.

I need a truthful person in this business because I don’t want to make mistakes. I need your strong assurance and trust. With my position now in office I can transfer this money to any foreign reliable account, through Telephone Banking System with our New York or Telegraphic Transfer (T.T) which you can provide with assurance that this money will be intact pending my physical arrival to your country for sharing. I will apply for annual leave to get a visa immediately I hear from you that you are ready to act and receive this money in your account.

At the conclusion of this business, I will come to your country for withdrawal and sharing and other investments. you will be given 30% of the total amount, 60% will be for me ,and while 10% will be for expenses both parties might incure during the process of transferring this money.

Therefore, if you are willing and interested to render the needed assistance, endeavor to reply through my email address, I also need your private phone and fax numbers Your current address attach your I.D Card for easy communication. I will give more clarifications on the modalities needed for the successful completion of this transaction.

Best Regards,
Mr Michael Brown
Barclays Bank plc
London

Funny how people die left right and center and there is nobody to cash in – what a shame!

rating: 6 out of 6 stars

Blarry Christmas – Xmess

admin — Mon, 24 Nov 2008 00:33:10 +0000

Ingredience: Take 10 ounces of bad weather, 1 extra large horribly dry turkey, a pinch of smelly stuffing, one frantic afternoon’s last-minute shopping. Mix that together with cheap wine, plenty of beer, relatives you can’t stand and trifle/Christmas pudding/mince pies for a couple of days – boiled at a hundred degrees indoors – don’t forget to sprinkle with the obvious boredom, board-games and bad jokes – I am sure you will be rewarded with severe constipation/diarrhea mentally and physically! Hence It comes to no surprise that most people commit suicide during the festive season. Who came up with all that crap? I’m off! Sod that – I can’t think of anything worse; Stop this rubbish!! Argghhhh

rating: 4 out of 5 stars

Traffic Wardens/Parking enforcement officers

admin — Thu, 13 Nov 2008 22:11:00 +0000

You have to give it to them – they are daring, cheeky, courageous, brave, fearless, stout-hearted – to mess with a man’s/woman’s automobile in bright daylight. They risk to be attacked, abused or perhaps even injured by enraged drivers who are not willing to pay a fine under any circumstances! Then again if you look at them – and I’ve seen quite a few – they all seem to be enjoying it!! They grin, smirk, keep mocking us – showing no mercy what-so-ever! They think they are the prolonged arm of the law – superheros of the parking by-law legislation! But I think it’s their crappy revenge for not being able to get a proper job – stupid idiots! Let’s get rid of them once and for all! That would wipe the grin out of their face – that’s for sure!

rating: 5 out of 5 stars

Slow-Walkers – get lost!

admin — Wed, 05 Nov 2008 23:53:42 +0000

You are trying to get to a very important meeting in the morning – pacing down the road trying to avoid the pedestrians in front of you as well as the walkers rushing the opposite direction! Until you get one of those bloody “slow-walkers” or even worse a bunch of “slow-walkers” in front of you. Are those douche-bags completely unaware what is going around them? Can’t they move out of the way? Do they have stop exactly at a spot where it is impossible to overtake them? Please somebody introduce fast-walking lanes on pavements – I have got a life to get on with!

rating: 4 out of 5 stars

I bloody hate you – with a vengeance!

admin — Wed, 05 Nov 2008 19:41:19 +0000

Hello and welcome! – You just landed on J’s ultimate guide to who are the most hated, despised and boring people and things on this planet; A comprehensive shitlist, a chart of the who-is-who and what-is what in the realm of obnoxiousness and embarrassment. This shitlist of hideously annoying, utterly disturbing, disgraceful, repugnant and simply nauseating people and things will be updated regularly and you are allowed to make comments if you wish or even suggest people or things to us, that you’d like to be put on that list. And it doesn’t stop here with just the ‘rich and famous’ – denounce your own family members if you want – come on, get it off your chest, don’t bottle it up! And last but not least – there never will be a ‘I bloody love you!’ web-site; We promise!

Alistair Darling

admin — Fri, 31 Oct 2008 19:28:38 +0000

Britain is facing “arguably the worst” economic downturn in 60 years which will be “more profound and long-lasting” than people had expected, Alistair Darling, tells the Guardian in an interview which was published on the 30th of August 2008. But Mr. Darling isn’t just any ordinary person – no – he is the Chancellor of the Exchequer and therefore responsible for economic and financial matters in the British Cabinet. The Chancellor is the equivalent of the Minister of Finance or Secretary of the Treasury in other nations. What an idiot – instead trying to calm the situation, giving people confidence – he has to go running around shouting: “the house is on fire” – there is no need for that! Somebody please sack that stupid owl-faced twit!

rating: 5 out of 5 stars

Icesave – Icelandic anchors

admin — Wed, 22 Oct 2008 15:22:14 +0000

Hang on guys – what does one know about Iceland apart from the obvious facts: That it is a land of farmers and fishermen. That they borrowed too much because of greed. That they have huge household debts amounting to 213% of the disposable income. That the country’s banking system collapsed under pressure from the credit crunch after borrowing a massive amount of $180 billion in 2007. That the Icelandic economy is worth only $18.6 billion. That that isn’t going to work out! So now nobody knows what’s going to happen with those saving accounts from the UK savers who banked with Landsbanki and Kaupthing!!! Stick to your bloody fishing-boats you Icelandic Cxxts!

rating: 4.5 out of 5 stars